Useless Determination?

Does anyone else get sudden, large bouts of determination from time to time? You have a long day at work and when you get home you think: you know what? Enough of this crap, I’m going to start my own business where I make the rules and no one can tell ME what to do, or what not to do, and when to do, or not do it. Or you suddenly think that the spirit of Jane Austen has entered your soul and you can write your own book and become a best selling author.

I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve sat my butt down in front of my laptop with a blank word document open ready to make all my dreams come true. Until, of course, I remember that I don’t have the creativity, ability or the talent to ever write a successful short story, let alone a whole book! So then what do I do? I turn towards my blog, which is obviously sooo much easier (she says entirely sarcastically) and write a crappy post that seems incredible at the time…until you read it over a week later and cringe because what the hell were you even thinking.

I have all these incredible conversations with people discussing how we could join together and start a business venture, but then the oh so important question pops up:

“But what will we do?”

And you just stare at them blankly because did you actually think that far ahead? No, of course not, so I reiterate the fact that I ‘don’t have the creativity, ability or the talent to ever’ come up with a solid business idea (and yes, I did just quote myself).

After this fleeting boost of determination comes a long period of resignation where you realise that you are destined to live out your life in an office in front of a computer screen. You realise why the business world is shaped like a pyramid with few that make it to the top. I have immense respect for everyone that makes it big, like the guy that started Gym Shark whilst in university and now makes big bucks. He started off just ironing designs onto t-shirts!

I just need that one idea, like J. K. Rowling getting the idea for Harry Potter whilst riding a train. Instead of so many bouts of determination, I would prefer some inspiration so I can actually achieve something, but hey, at least a girl can dream! Which reminds me, Stephanie Meyer dreamt about Twilight, so there may still be some hope for me!

Do any of you ever feel the same way as me? I hope I’m not alone! Until next time…which will probably be the next time I’m sick of work!

All jokes aside, I’ve really been enjoying blogging, despite not posting very often. I hope to increase the frequency of my posts and ideally get some creative juices flowing. I’ve spent so much of my life being studious that I’ve really lacked a creative outlet. I have never enjoyed writing because its always been something I’m forced to do, so it’s nice to finally have it be on my terms and my schedule.

– Michelle


One thought on “Useless Determination?

  1. I share similar feelings, just keep listening to your intuition and trusting that you will naturally feel most motivated and drawn towards the path you are meant to take. Whether it is writing a book or posting articles on your blog, you never know the impact you might be having on others.

    Liked by 1 person

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